Welcome to Capital Laundry Services, AKA "The Laundry", the world's pre-eminent occult espionage organisation (and ISO9001 certified)! You are here because you have Seen Too Much, learned Secrets Man Was Not Meant To Know, delved into the darker pages of Knuth and von Junzst. As a result, you have been forcibly recruited. Your new job is to ensure that no-one else learns those things, and that reality (and the UK in particular) is not consumed by Gibbering Horrors from Beyond Space And Time. And that's just the accounts section...

As a new Laundry agent, you will be sent down to Dunwich for orientation training and field testing. Rail tickets (second class) to Great Yarmouth are enclosed. Before departure, please thoroughly review the Basic Health, Safety and Security Protocols document, and fill out the attached forms in triplicate.

Attached: HR 555 New Agent Details Form, HR 556 Health and Safety Declaration, IR3 Tax Code Declaration, HR 557 Next-of-kin Details