Welcome to 13th-century England! You are monks in the service of the LORD. Praise the LORD! The LORD is your friend! After toiling away for years as Red sanctity novices, you have finally achieved the Orange habits of monks. But all is not rosy! Heretics, schismatic sects and Satanists are everywhere!

Especially, it seems, France. That benighted land is a nest of heterodoxy, apostasy and impiety. Fortunately, the LORD has revealed to your archbishop the source of the taint, and has commanded that you be sent to burn it out with fire and the holy word. Praise the LORD!

Just three small details of which the LORD was presumably unaware. One, you’re a secret heretic. Two, you’re a secret schismatic. Three, you’re a secret Satanist. And since your fellow monks are all fired up against heretical schismatic Satanists, if any of them find out, it’s the pyre for you… unless you can put them to the torch first.

So remember: stay alert! Trust nobody! And keep your kindling handy!